Since I've been back in the feral game of dating after nearly a two-year hiatus, I've become re-acquainted with the annoying rules of etiquette, blurry lines of nuance, awkward dances of polite but honest communication, and, most importantly the ethics of keeping the well-being of others’ hearts at the absolute forefront of consideration.
After gently telling one suitor I was not interested in dating him any further, but his pursuit fervently continued, I finally replied to a message by text saying, "I’m busy and traveling a lot. Take care."
Yes, I gave him the “Take care.” And by text! Ouch. This is a brutal game indeed.
Now on my checklist, this guy is great; but I'm just not into him, and I've expressed that. But even after punching him in the face with the “take care,” his pursuit continues, which, although mostly annoying, is incredibly flattering and even mildly enticing. I made my point very clear, several times, but he is a determined little booger and his persistence might actually be making me reconsider.
So here’s the thing… I've expressed my explicit disinterest several times, but he continues to pursue a golf and dinner date with me... in Kohler. So you see my difficult dilemma. I mean, it's KOHLER!
So please help me out: Is it ethical, given my several-times-expressed disinterest, to allow him to take me golfing in Kohler?
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From conversations we have had about this guy, you need to tell him to never contact you again. Direct and to the point. If he continutes to pursue, call the cops.
ReplyDeleteYes. You gotta getcha getcha getcha getcha head in the game.
ReplyDeleteDan Allen that is not a fair comment! This guy is, in fact, an incredibly nice man who meets every criteria on my checklist.
ReplyDeleteI vote for golfing in Kohler. What choice do you have? He isn't going to leave you alone until you go, and maybe he knows something you don't.
ReplyDeleteAnd golf and dinner in Kohler doesn't really count as suffering in my book. GO. And Have Fun.
(And if he wants to take your best friend and her husband golfing and to dinner, we are available July 18 or 19.)
Go golfing! Live a little! But personally...I think that Dan Allen likes you... is he single?
ReplyDeleteIf you are seriously reconsidering him, then go and use it as a fresh assessment of him. If not, then it would be disingenuous to go. From experience of personally being a guy and a fairly oblivious one at that, you need to be blunt with him. It's the only way he'll realize. It's just the way some of us are.
ReplyDeleteI do however see your dilemma. I golf, lived in Sheboygan growing up (3rd best place in the world to golf!) and never got to play on that course much less dine at THE American Club. I've heard the food and atmosphere are to die for!
I like Anon's response. If you are seriously reconsidering, it's a fresh assessment. If you're mind's 100% made up, then probably not such a good idea.
ReplyDeleteok..so this is my first comment! woohoo :) but here is the thing, at first i was like "go golf, have fun" now he is showing stalkerish tendencies and going anywhere with him will just add fuel to the fire. if he doesn't stop, tell him you found another man and if that doesn't work you can always say "another woman" ~works for me! ha..just kidding. have fun at young life camp :)
ReplyDeleteYes, Anon and Nicole got it--if you are sure you don't want to date him then you should not go, but if you could honestly use it as a reconsideration, go for it. And if you go and don't like it/him, don't feel bad.
ReplyDeleteAiight, I've been convicted. This one's a no-go. Thanks for all the input. I guess I'll find my own way to get up there.
ReplyDelete