Cubicle Survival (of the funniest)

There's a new kid on the block at the Prospect Avenue mansion, and the bosses are splitting up my current officemate and me. They say it's because they want us to share our wealth of knowledge and experience with the newbies. I say they’re full of it. Really, they’re jealous of us laughing hysterically all day every day. I'll be the first to admit we can be slightly obnoxious, but a daily dose of "ugly-face-laugh" makes office culture a heckofalot more tolerable, and, if you're really lucky, a lot of fun!

So while you may not think of life in a cubicle as thrilling, I posit to you, the joy you experience in the confines of your cube each day is what you choose it to be! As a farewell tribute to Bowens, the greatest office roommie ever, here are a few tips for cultivating office fun, all of which are tried and true, to keep you enjoying life in a cubicle as the summer months have you wishing you were anywhere else.

NICKNAMES: Give nicknames that are totally obnoxious, but have a good bit of truth. For example, you might call your feminist friend an artsy-fartsy liberal elitist, and she might call you an argyle-and-pearl-wearing prude. When those get boring, try mixing up the order of the components and the laughs are sure to keep rolling.

ACCENTS/IMPERSONATIONS: Pick an accent, or a movie, to quote for the day. I personally recommend quoting Mean Girls or impersonating Miss South Carolina’s infamous pageant answer, but ‘Hood Day is a guaranteed winner, too.

THROW THINGS: It’s a simple concept; people getting mildly injured is always good for a laugh. Recently jellybelly wars have been popular around here, but I most recommend lightly tossing a spoon at your officemate when she’s on the phone with a reporter... just be sure to aim for her fatty tissue or it could hurt… or cause temporary paralysis… be careful with this one.

NEW FRIENDS: Never underestimate the fun that might ensue from meeting a new vendor. They are full of stories, like the process of and reasons for getting, and removing, that tattoo. And if you're lucky, you might get a free lunch, a few dates, or a man so into you that he jumps through your ceiling just so he can come clean up the plaster on your desk.

SNACKS: Self explanatory, but note that afternoon homemade guacamole breaks do wonders for lightening the mood after any number of angry reporter rejections.

HOLLYWOOD: A fun scene to act out is to pretend what an afternoon would look like if you weren't concerned with keeping your job. Or, try living on a cat farm. If you’re feeling really adventurous, alpacas are cute animals to have as imaginary friends. But what really tops the list of scenes to act out, is to reenact the hairstyles and smiles of each of your awkward K-12 school pictures.

DANCE PARTIES: Jump on YouTube and find a dance party. Recommended from experience are Justin Timberlake’s rendition of “Single Ladies,” or “We’re All In This Together” from High School Musical. You’ll be surprised how quickly you can become a star.

GAGS: There are all kinds of gags you can pull. Try wrapping the ball of your officemate's computer mouse with foil and watching her restart it several times before you bust out laughing and tell her not to call the IT folks. Or, if she happens to be OC, unwrapping every piece of candy in her jar and taping the empty wrappers around her desk can be a lot of fun.

With all of these sure-to-please office games, gags, and gimmicks, I trust you’ll have no problem choosing to have some fun and find joy each and every day, even in your cube!